Every woman’s journey of motherhood is beautiful and unique. My journey into becoming a first-time mom was like how it is for most of you. My happiness had no bounds. Like any first-time mom, I was eager to welcome my baby to this beautiful world, and give my child all the love I could. 

My very first thought after I knew I was becoming a mother was, What do I name my child? I wanted a name that meant ‘Unique’. A beautiful baby girl came into my life and I named her ‘Ananya’. Ananya means ‘Unique’. 

A few years later, I was pregnant with my second child. The happiness of seeing one child walk around you, and another grow inside you is unexplainable. I was again at the point of choosing a name. I had named my daughter ‘Ananya’ because I wanted my child to be unique. But I also knew that my second one would also be unique in its own way. This made me realize that every child that enters this beautiful world is unique in their own way. I then named him Anirudh.

The growing years of both my children were extremely different. And, as I said, both my children had different characteristics. Ananya, to go by her name was a one-of-a-kind girl. She had begun to sing at the age of two and had given numerous musical shows in all genres. She was an artist, a debater at school, an all-time essay competition winner, and a girl with a generous heart. She was a high performer in academics, an amazing cook, and a big-time fan of the BTS band. On the other hand, my son Anirudh was quite the opposite of his sister. 

In the year 2021, December, Ananya raised 5 lakh Rupees by conducting a fundraiser show, where she and I worked together to make it happen. We put our heart and soul into this show so that underprivileged students could get access to good education from its proceedings. Anirudh was by our side, and he was his sister’s biggest cheerleader. 

Ananya was transforming into a beautiful young adult. I as a mother could not resist seeing her get dressed. All her choices, from clothes to footwear, and her slow inclination towards makeup and looking good made me feel that my little girl was all grown up. My son, Anirudh on the other hand has grown past my shoulders. I had a very intimate connection with both of my children. They were both very close to me and we shared a very friendly bond. 

There is no such topic under the sun that we haven’t discussed about. I am proud to be a mother of these two beautiful-hearted, smart, intelligent, and grateful children. But never in my wildest, scariest dream did I imagine that a day would come when I would talk about Ananya in the past. 

April 2022 was the month we were all looking forward to. Ananya’s birthday month. Anirudh is quite a shy guy when it comes to birthdays. But, Ananya liked celebrations. She was all excited to celebrate this birthday with all her friends as we were out of Covid. While we had our own plans, the universe also had its own. 

Ananya had just finished her physics finals paper and was preparing for the next one. She was an all-nighter, especially during exams. April 4th, as the sun came up, our daily routine began. Anirudh had gone to school that morning, and Ananya was in her room as usual. 

I got us breakfast and knocked at her room. There was no response. I went into my room thinking she might have had the headphones on. That day, I wanted to have my breakfast with her, so I waited. It was 11 am, our usual tea time. I went back and knocked at her door again. I kept knocking and knocking. Called her on her phone a couple of times. There was no response whatsoever. I started worrying, called my family, and got a worker from the neighboring construction site to break open the door. 

The sight I saw when the door opened and hit the wall broke all my bones and nerves. My all-rounder, my beautiful girl who had weaved countless dreams was hanging down from the ceiling. My life came to a still. Ananya had left us all. My daughter who shared all her secrets with me held back the darkest feelings of hers from me. Anirudh and I have no answer to why she left us this way, and coming to terms with this is close to impossible. I am dying every minute without my child, and I know how it exactly feels to lose someone so close, especially to suicide. Anirudh has been strong, but it’s hard for me to even imagine what he must be going through inside after losing his sister. 

Loss of life is devastating, but a suicide death takes a severe toll on the surviving family and friends. According to WHO, more than 700000 people die of suicide every year, and suicide is the fourth leading cause of death. 

NIMHANS – The National Institute of Medical Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore states  “Suicide is a multifactorial cause of mortality across all stages of a person’s life, with almost one million suicide deaths each year worldwide. According to a National Crime Report Bureau (NCRB) report 2021, Karnataka reported 13,056 suicides in the said period, a 6.5% increase from the year 2020, which accounts for 8% of the total suicides in India, and the rate of suicide in Karnataka is at 19.5%, which is higher than the national average of 12%” 

The only thought I had after looking at such alarming suicide statistics and knowing the impact of it due to my own personal loss was – Nobody in this world should die of suicide. What can I do to stop this? What can I do to make people aware that the Mental Health of every individual is important, and every life is precious? 

This haunting thought gave birth to Ananya – A Foundation for Happiness, a non-profit organization that attempts to promote self-happiness & resilience in the lives of every individual. 

With several specially curated workshops and programs, reaching out to people in schools, colleges, corporates, apartment complexes, and everywhere possible, I am doing my bit to create a strong, factual awareness about mental health and help fight stigmas associated with it. I am blessed to have Anirudh by my side who has been extremely supportive, and the entire team of AFH who are selflessly contributing towards the initiative.